Saturday was an amazing day for me. It marked the end of a long, long journey. But it also symbolized the beginning of another path I’m starting on.
On January 11th I held the launch party for my first book, Escape the Woods. The energy in the room from the people that came to support me was incredible. I felt so blessed to have so many people there to celebrate with me – some have been listening to me talk about my dream to be a published author for years now, so it was amazing to share that experience with them, and to say that I’ve finally done it!
The weeks leading up to the launch were possibly the most stressful few weeks of my life. I wrote about it at length last week, and even after I wrote about it, things only seemed to grow worse. Unfortunate events continued to happen to me, one after the other. I fought continuously with family members. Hurtful rumors were spread about me. My relationships felt strange, even like they were falling apart. I eventually wanted to say “forget it” about the entire launch and party. Doubts ran through my mind, keeping me up at night. Does anyone even care about me and all the hard work I’ve put into this book? Do I look like an idiot for trying to accomplish something like this at my age? Are all these bad things happening because they are a sign that I’m not supposed to be doing this? Why don’t I feel as happy as I thought I would, now that I’ve achieved this success?
Is that how the devil works? Does he try to steal our joy at our most successful moments? Overwhelm us so we forgot that we were called by God to do the things we’re passionate about?
One of my friends put it like this recently when I talked to her about it. She said, “You know that what you’re doing is important and has impact when it feels like the devil is trying to stop you from doing it.”
On Friday night, I nearly had an anxiety attack because everything seemed to be falling apart. But at the last minute (seriously, the last minute), everything came together better than I ever anticipated. The launch party was a huge success, and when it was all over, I realized that this – writing – is something I want to continue doing. I love this. I’m passionate about it. And I’m confident that this is where God wants me.
If you’ve read the Acknowledgements page at the end of my book, then you’ve seen the verse I chose to include at the very end.
Hebrews 10:20 – “Let us hold tightly without wavering to the hope we affirm, for God can be trusted to keep his promise.”
The minute I read this verse a couple months ago, I knew I would add it to my Acknowledgements page. This verse perfectly symbolizes the journey I faced, and will continue to face throughout my entire writing process. I had to “hold tightly” to the smallest bit of hope I had. That bit of hope was a small voice in my heart, a promise, a calling, telling me that I had to keep writing this book, because someday it would be published and an encouragement to others. This week, I lived out that promise. I saw God fulfill that promise.
Such confidence comes from seeing God answer our prayers. It also gives life so much more purpose to know that you are using your passion for something other than your own glory.
So this year, I’m going to keep reminding myself of those promises; that with God, all things are possible. That if God puts a dream in my heart, He will provide the resources I need to achieve that dream.
Love,
Gabriella
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